Between Us

She connects you and me, two strangers, through the sacred bond of motherhood. We stand on either side of loss and grief. We stand on either side of her life’s journey.

I respect you. I empathize with you. I will forever be thankful for the difficult decision you made. Without it, she would not be with me.

I love my child and so it is I love you as well, because you are part of her. You exist within every cell of her physical being. You exist deep within her memory stores. I’m sure of it. Some day she may want to know more, but for now she feels secure in her ingrained knowledge.

She has some of your characteristics and some of mine. She is western and she is eastern. She is poise, wit, and grace. She is ethical, committed to goals, and thoughtful. She is physically and emotionally strong. She is wise beyond her years, an “old soul” who knows who she is and is comfortable with it.

You gave her life and overcame great obstacles to bring her into this world. You ushered her to safety, risking yours, so that she would end up within my loving arms.

I give her a home, unconditional love and guidance. I laugh with her. Cry with her. And now, I hold her hand as she steps over the threshold to discover the mysteries of herself as she embarks on womanhood.

I wonder how you feel, as the years speed by, about the decision you had to make. I know, as a mother, you think of her continuously. I wish I could convey to you that that she is fine—content, balanced, joyous, and beautiful. She is deeply loved and cherished by her family.

Every time I look at the moon and stars, in the deep quiet of the night, I send prayers and thoughts your way, believing you can feel my intentions and that they will find you healthy and happy. At peace.

She is our blessing. She is my heart and your soul. Born of you, adopted by me. Our daughter.



Filed under Adoptive Mom's Perspective, Claiming, Identity, Loss

6 responses to “Between Us

  1. Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing. Something I think about so very often. As our little girl is almost four, I find myself thinking more and more about the how our conversations will mature over time and pray that I can convey the message as beautifully as you have written.

  2. Jean

    I am a new Mom as of Mother’s Day this year. After a five year wait it still seems unreal when I hold this beautiful person that I get to be called Mama. Your words certainly express the gratitude I feel daily. What a wonderful way to spread your positive energy.

  3. Just wondering if the adoptive mother will feel the same when this child looks for and finds her birth mother… in our case, this was what we were told, they were so considerate and thoughtful, until the day came when the child sought out, found and met his birth mother…. now there only seems to be strife…. and we don’t understand at all! Not trying to take their place, just trying to find ours in his life because he is the one who sought out his birth mother.

    • Hi Sharon,
      Knowing my daughter’s story, I’d say yes; this adoptive mama will feel the same if she decides to seek and finds her birth mother. I hope that you can work through the challenges you are facing.

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