St. Mom

The comment was one of those—well-meaning, misplaced and sorely uncomfortable in its energy once it was uttered. The comment hung in the air, like fractured pieces and I was supposed to gather it all up and make it “right.”

“Just think; what would have happened to ___ if you hadn’t adopted ___.”

Like, what was I supposed to do with that?

Well, I chose a simple way around it this time. I smiled. I could tell that the person who uttered it realized they had made a mistake once they said it. There was no agenda.

Let me assure you that I am often not so nice. In fact I have been down right rude at times, if the kids aren’t with me. I am turned off when people see me as saving a child (saintly), tell me how wonderful I am for adopting (ditto), or implying my kids are lucky (i.e., should be grateful).

I have imagined life without my kids and I pull back because I don’t want to think about a life with less laughter, less fullness, less richness, less love. Less “us.”

I’m the grateful one. The lucky one. And I’m no saint…

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1 Comment

Filed under Adoptive Mom's Perspective, Advocacy, The International Mom

One response to “St. Mom

  1. I just discovered your blog today. My husband and I were foster parents for four years to five boys under the age of five. (We recently adopted 3 of the boys) This post spoke volumes to me. I don’t know how many times I told me husband, “If one more person tells me I’m a saint, I’m going to scream.” I knew full well I wasn’t and knew all the times I had lost my patience with the kids. This was the perfect post for me. Thank you!

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