The comment was one of those—well-meaning, misplaced and sorely uncomfortable in its energy once it was uttered. The comment hung in the air, like fractured pieces and I was supposed to gather it all up and make it “right.”
“Just think; what would have happened to ___ if you hadn’t adopted ___.”
Like, what was I supposed to do with that?
Well, I chose a simple way around it this time. I smiled. I could tell that the person who uttered it realized they had made a mistake once they said it. There was no agenda.
Let me assure you that I am often not so nice. In fact I have been down right rude at times, if the kids aren’t with me. I am turned off when people see me as saving a child (saintly), tell me how wonderful I am for adopting (ditto), or implying my kids are lucky (i.e., should be grateful).
I have imagined life without my kids and I pull back because I don’t want to think about a life with less laughter, less fullness, less richness, less love. Less “us.”
I’m the grateful one. The lucky one. And I’m no saint…