When together my kids are usually focused on something else—swept away by the latest discovery of a critter that has appeared in our yard, some game in- or outside, or learning a new song from an iPod via the communal sharing of ear buds. My kids spend a lot of time together because they want to. They enjoy each other’s company and I feel that is remarkable given the age span of nine years between the four of them.
But sometimes there are moments when they are out of their world and with me. Sometimes the real world intrudes and they notice the unabashed stares directed at us.
Aubry said just the other night, “I don’t like people staring at us. Why do they do that?”
My answer was that we are a multiracial family. And her response was, “So what?”
Well, the “so what” is that what we know as “normal” is not necessarily perceived as such outside of the loving nurturing circle of our family, extended family and friends. People judge. Communities and family experts judge. And yes, there are those within the adoption triad that judge too.
Please don’t stare. And don’t make assumptions. Mark and I adopted for a very selfish reason; we wanted more children.
Can you help? When you see a family like ours, where there are obvious racial differences, please don’t stare but look deeper with your senses and you’ll see discover a family—in every sense of the word.