P7100109Adoptive parents often refer to themselves as vetted.

When I was riding, the term referred to giving a horse a thorough check-up prior to purchase. Paperwork was filled out by the vet and signed and notarized. Buying a horse was a lot of outlay, so full and accurate disclosure was necessary.

When in the adoption process I felt like my horses, every aspect and orifice of my life and body were examined. Evaluated. In addition to being cleared at the local, state, and federal levels, I was subject to physical and psychological testing and the home study. Others were asked to weigh in with their opinion of my character and fitness as a mother.

It was unnerving, but I was more than willing to do it to bring my child home to me. The fact that I had one, then two, and then three children didn’t have any impact on the procedures and red tape. I (and my husband) was required to go through them each time. More paperwork was added (and more exists today).

Adoptive parents go though a lot. Yep…

So what?

Well, the “so what” is that I didn’t have to be vetted prior to becoming pregnant and giving birth.

Yes, but you were adopting a child – a child born to someone else. Someone else.

True. But, that child was available for adoption. And my heart and arms were open.

That child became my child. Mine.

Would you do it again?

In less than a heartbeat…



Filed under Adoption Process, Adoptive Mom's Perspective, Parenting

4 responses to “Vetted

  1. Amen. I’d do it again too….in some ways ,it seems like so many hoops, in other ways, I think, “Really, that’s it???” I do this, and I can bring home a child–really?!?! For our second homestudy, I honestly don’t remember doing much more than clearing off a space on the couch for the SW to sit!!!

  2. Thanks for de-lurking ; ).

    I was very worried about our first home study. I worried about everything and lost so much sleep over it. But it all was just fine. And our social worker was a peach (we used her each time and it was easier because we had an established relationship).

    I will say this: she could have eaten off my floors the first time and by the third adoption, I just swept them.

    Believe. You will be good enough.

  3. I thought I would de-lurk and say hello. I stumbled onto your blog awhile back. My husband and I are contemplating adoption, and I can’t tell you how helpful it has been to read your family’s story and your honest thoughts.

    As we start to think about all of the details, just the idea of the vetting process is scary. Even though we don’t have any secrets, it makes me wonder, “will they think we’re good enough?”

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