The Gates Open

Up until this point, Aubry has never approached Mark to discuss adoption or the subject of her birth mother. She has dealt with years of grief and anger regarding these issues, especially when her birthday is on the horizon. I’ve been the one she has come to, the person who has held her as she slumbered in my arms, exhausted from the screaming and sobbing and from the injustice of it all.   

This week Mark had the opportunity to have a discussion with Aubry about adoption. Like any conversations with kids, you never know just when your child is going to initiate it – or where it may go.

It occurred after swim practice, when Aubry had Mark all to herself while they waited on Josi and Greyson to finish their respective soccer practices. This was a huge leap forward for my daughter and for her and her daddy’s relationship.

p4010178As she has gotten older Aubry has been able to articulate how she feels and does it more often. She knows she has our support and unconditional love. Aubry trusts she has two parents she can talk to about the complex issue of adoption; its okay to talk about it and it’s necessary. It’s what made us a family.

Mark said she was calm and asked specific and probing questions (probing is an Aubry trait…). Mark was honest and loving with her. She didn’t get emotional and – she even used humor a few times! He also got Aubry’s patented “hug-you-into-two-pieces” hugs after the talk.


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Filed under Adoption Issues, International Adoption, Multicultural Families, Parenting

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