In the Spring 2009 issue of Brain,Child, Editor at Large Jennifer Niesslein posed a question in her “Soapbox” column: “Is it ethical to write about your kids?”
When I began writing about adoption, adoptive parenting, parenting, and raising a diverse family I asked myself the same question. How was I going to approach writing about my experiences and perspectives without mentioning my kids? So I examined the possible alternatives – assign a number to each child (1,2,3,4), assign a letter to each child (A,B,C,D), use the first letter of each one child’s first name, or use oldest son, youngest daughter, etc. You get the idea.
But when my pen began to fly across the pages and my fingers across the keyboard, my children’s given names jumped in – the names that their father and I bestowed upon them after months and months of serious consideration and conversation, the names which represent each of their beautiful personalities. Names that united all of our pasts and will take us into the future, as a family.
The kids understand I write to share a unique perspective about parenting and I do so because it’s wonderful, complex, interesting, and possibly helpful to other adoptive parents or parents considering adoption. Before each article is submitted for online or print publication or each post is published on one of my sites, the kids get to read it and give me their “say-so” about what has been written.
For the most part I’ve received resounding support and four sets of “thumbs-up”, even from my most private child. They call them “their stories”.