Tag Archives: children and lying

Oh, Those Eyes

I’m a sucker for brown eyes.

Greyson’s are dark. So much so that seeing his pupils is near impossible. His rich espresso-hued eyes absorb me. They reflect his Mayan heritage and his passionate soul.

Because I can’t see any changes in his eyes I can’t read the subtle signs that I can pick up in my other kids’ eyes (also brown, but different shades). I rely on what Greyson does when I question him on something—an emotional outburst (busted), intense staring at me (guilt), or avoidance in the form of watching something like a bug on the wall, suddenly far more important than what I am talking or asking about (less than truthful). I’ve “learned” my son like any other parent learns their child, by watching carefully.

Because Greyson was harder to initially read, I came up with some interesting challenges. For example, discerning whether he was telling the truth about hand washing. What little boy wants to wash his hands? Doing so takes time away from other things Greyson could be doing, such as throwing trucks down the stairs. Frustrated after repeatedly finding out that he was, ahem…lying…about washing his hands, I asked him to lick them. That resulted in an outburst (busted) and a mad rush to the bathroom to do the deed. After several times, he turned it around.

Now when I ask about hand washing he says, “I did Mommy! Look!” and licks his palms.  

Some other time I’ll tell you about the tooth brushing.

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Filed under Adoptive Mom's Perspective, Guatemala, International Adoption, The International Mom

The Beauty of Parent-Teacher Conferences

I received the grades the day before. They accompanied the kids home in sealed envelopes (yes, they were still sealed ). I was happy with the results and therefore not expecting any surprises.

The conference morning began with Greyson’s English teacher. We discussed the typical topics—behavior, focus, quality of work. Together we looked at his progress and areas where he needed to work harder. Now, let me stop here and say that I DID NOT make it to Back-to-School-Night. I had four to attend on four different evenings. Between homework, soccer games, soccer practices, piano, and Mark out of the country, I was lucky to get to two; Greyson’s wasn’t one of them. I mention this because not going caused me to feel  “out of the loop.” I reminded myself that things probably hadn’t changed that much. Second grade is second grade. The new change seemed to be no required reading at home.  According to my little man…

Towards the end of the conference I asked Greyson’s teacher about this and she pulled out a calendar, “You mean like this?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“This is his calendar,” she said.

Yep. There it was. The M’s, representing Mark’s intitials, were blatantly written by a child—my son. She shared the rest of the story about how Greyson had come clean with the false initials when asked. We both laughed until we had tears in our eyes.

She brought out another assignment that Greyson hadn’t completed yet. He was in the process of writing his synopsis of his favorite fairytale. Cute idea.

I leaned over to read what Greyson had chosen as his favorite – Pinocchio. Classic. Needless to say, I was laughing again. I love parent-teacher conferences.

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Filed under Guatemala, International Adoption, Multicultural Families, Parenting, The International Mom

Busted!

P7290196Another day. Another lie.

My little boy is fairly transparent when it comes to lying, so much so that we still smile over his head or share a good laugh later. The problem is that once he tells it, he won’t admit he’s lying. Greyson digs his heels in and insists that he is telling the truth, even with us trying to give him some ground to reconsider his story. Our favorite Greyson lie happened when he was four, while on vacation in Pawleys. He kept putting the markers in his mouth. We kept telling him not to do it. (I don’t have a lot of faith in the nontoxic label. Too many things have been proven otherwise.) He’d been coloring with his sisters and his face was covered with red - all over his lips, his teeth, and his cheeks. He’d had a meal of red marker.

Greyson denied putting the marker in his mouth. I asked him if he was sure about that. Oh, yes. He was sure. Then Daddy asked him the same. Oh, yes. He was sure. Mark took him into the bathroom and placed him in front of the mirror. When Greyson saw all of the red ink on his face and in his mouth, he began to wail. Although it was funny, we still had to discipline him. Over the years he lost his taste for markers.

The other morning Mark was getting the kids ready for school since I was down with the flu (not the politically correct swine flu, just the flu). I was sound asleep until woken up by my youngest doing his thing – that special indignant angry crying we’re so familiar with. I knew he’d been caught, but not why until later. Turns out he’d been lying. Again. This time it was over the brushing of teeth. Come on! This was not some new task he’d been asked to perform.

This all started with Mark asking Greyson if he had brushed his teeth. His positive response was accompanied by a deer-in-the-headlights look. Uh-oh! Busted!

Mark pushed on saying he was going to check Greyson’s toothbrush and see if it was wet. Greyson said it would “be dry by now.”

Daddy dropped the bomb – “No way.” Then the crying and stomping feet came upstairs.

The “little boy that cried wolf” story never fazed him like it did our other three. I hope the lies will disappear soon, but for now Greyson continues to use them to avoid things he’s supposed to do. He’s not as dedicated as he once was when lying happened a few times each day. Now he tells one or two in each week. I guess that’s progress.

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Filed under Multicultural Families, Parenting, The International Mom